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Veterans Golf Club of Victoria

We restarted!!
We played and enjoyed a sandwich at Churchill Park.

Webmasters Preamble

The corona virus has now been having a major impact on our lives for over seven months now.

For the moment the impact is reducing, but until we have a reliable vaccine, we have to recognise that the virus remains highly infectious and very debilitating even when not deadly.


15th November. 2020 - Australian Culture Click here to acknowledge your heritage.

How to be an Australian

You know you're Australian if ....

  • You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
  • You think it's normal to have a leader called Julia.
  • You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
  • You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
  • You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
  • You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
  • You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
  • You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.
  • You know the 'l' in the word ' Australia ' is optional.
  • You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
  • You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
  • You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'.
  • You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
  • You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife
  • You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
  • You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
  • You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
  • You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
  • Beetroot with your Hamburger... Of course.
  • You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'
  • And "Living next door to Alice ".
  • You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
  • You wear ugg boots outside the house.

The are quite a few of these aids to recognising yourself as an Australian, so the rest will appear tomorrow.


♦ He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.

Quoted from Einstein

It's a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he's dead.

Quoted from Bob Hope

All my life, people have been telling me what to do. I'm tired of it. My private life has become an industry.

Quoted from Prince Charles

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14th Nov 2020 - More Australian music Click here after listening

More Australian music

On the ninth we listened to some Australian music with a fairly jingoistic theme.

Today the music will be more scattered.

  • Slim Dusty - Pub with no beer

    Perhaps the most iconic Australian song after Waltzing Matilda 'The pub with no beer' is an average Australians worst nightmare.

  • Peter Dawson - Clancy of the Overflow

    Like Waltzing Matilda, Clancy of the Overflow is another of Banjo Paterson's best known works. Peter Dawson, as could be expected, sings an up-market version.

  • The Seekers - I'll never find another you

    The Seekers sang songs with a tune - tending to be the last of that era.

  • Frank Ifield - I remember you

    While the Seeker's song above was known as the Ram's lament this memory is much more sedate.

  • Johny O'Keefe - I'm counting on you

    Just a third song about 'you'.

  • Peter Sculthorpe - Sun music.

    With Percy Grainger, Peter Sculthorpe is amongst Australia's best known composers. His Sun Music certainly reflects the bleak heat of Central Australia.

Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them! .

Quoted from Einstein

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

Quoted fromGroucho Marx

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13th November. 2020 - Amazing golf Click here to emulate the score.

Kye McWaters lashes out

Life Member Lance Boland sent me a cutting from Inside Golf August Edition.

For those who missed it, it describes Kye McWaters round of 61 stableford points. That's right, 61 points!!

The score included: 2 five point holes, 6 four points holes and 8 three point holes leaving only two where he didn't break handicap, on one of which he could only have scored 1 point.

Any of our members doing this can be assured we'll report it!

One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year.

Quoted from Einstein

Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

Quoted fromGroucho Marx

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12th November. 2020 - A local surprise Click here to build it quickly.

Bon Beach Life Saving Club

Walking along the beach this morning we were amazed to see the skyline had changed at Bon Beach. Where two days ago there was a Life Saving Club building, this morning there was an excavator and a relatively small pile of building debris!

No doubt a new building will emerge from this activity and I wondered if I could find any history of the Club. Sadly their web site only shows a few photographs and no history of their effectiveness as a Life Saving Club.

Australia Day at the Clubhouse 1947

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.

Quoted from Einstein

We might be more inclined to think about the longer term if we were more aware of what is happening around us. Perhaps daily weather forecasts could include a few basic facts about the Earth's vital signs or details of where climate change is increasing the likelihood of damaging weather?

Quoted from Prince Charles

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11th Nov 2020 - Armistice music Click here to outlaw war

Armistice music

Today is Armistice Day, a day celebrated for the official ending of World War 1. The horrors of that war (basically a family feud supported by propaganda &greed) were to some extent alleviated by infantry songs. Here are some of the most famous ones in medley form.

Funnily enough it is also 7 months since the first of these 'Keep in Touch' pages was published. With golf being available again, it may be time to ease off creating these pages, but we still can't meet as a Club yet, so some new material will continue to be added.

  • World war 1 medley

  • World war 2 medley

    Some of these may be WW1 vintage - I'm not an expert.

  • Peter Dawson - The road to Mandalay

    While I was seeking the war songs this came up and I couldn't resist adding it.

Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.

Quoted from Einstein

If we are to exercise our responsibilities so that all life can continue on earth, they must have a moral and philosophical basis. Simple self-interest, economic profit and absolute materialism are no longer enough. It has been made perfectly clear that a concern for any part of life on this planet — human, plant or animal, wild or tame — is a concern for all life. A threat to any part of the environment is a threat to the whole environment, but we must have a basis of assessment of these threats, not so that we can establish a priority of fears, but so that we can make a positive contribution to improvement and ultimate survival.

Quoted from Prince Phillip

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10th November. 2020 - What's important? Click here to cream your driver.

The happy marriage

After his recent hole in one, Frank and his buddies were hanging out and planning their next golf outing.

Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't play this time because his wife wouldn't allow it.

After a lot of teasing and name calling, Frank headed home totally frustrated. The following week when Frank's buddies arrived at the course, they were surprised to see Frank sitting in the lobby, drinking a beer and ready to play.

"How did you talk your missus into letting out, Frank?"

"I didn't have to," Frank replied. "Last I night I slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then, the wife snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise.' When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed, and you can do whatever you want'."

So, here I am!


Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Quoted from Einstein

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

Quoted from Bob Hope

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9th Nov 2020 - Australian music Click here to block your ears

Australian music

There is all sorts of Australian music around. As I have absolutely no idea which of the current famous music is Australian, you unlikely to find any here.

  • Advance Australia Fair

    Why not start with our National anthem? This is the official version.

    Then we'll have a couple of other songs which at least match the national theme.

  • The Seekers - I am, you are, Australian

    Written by Bruce Woodley in 1987, this song is inclusive for all Australians, and it's far more tuneful than the official anthem.

  • Peter Allen - I still call Australia home

  • Slim Dusty - Waltzing Matilda

    Widely used for years to identify Australia, who better to sing Waltzing Matilda than Slim Dusty?

  • The Footscray-Yarraville Brass Band - An Australia Day celebration

    Founded in 1888, Who remembers that the Footscray-Yarraville Brass Band modern successes began with it being the first band to win three consecutive Australian Championships and to date the only band to win every musical section within such an achievement. This feat resulted in the band being invited to compete at the Canadian National Exhibition Band Contest in 1975 where it scooped the pool by taking out all possible musical awards and trophies in its class.

  • The RAAF Brass Band - Anonymous band music

    The last of the jingoistic items today. Just one more song to come, then we'll add more later.

  • Rolf Harris - Tie me kangaroo down

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Quoted from Einstein

My folks were English ... we were too poor to be British.

Quoted from Bob Hope

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8th November. 2020 - Spare teeth Click here to get a mouthwash.

Fitted teeth available

The guest speaker for the Probus club was very embarrassed because he'd forgotten to bring his teeth. He apologised to the Club President that he couldn't speak.

Another member standing by offered to help, saying, “Don't worry about it. I've got some here in my pocket. Here try these”

“They're a bit loose”

“I've got some others. Here we are. Slip these in.”

“Mmm. Mmm. A bit tight”

“These aught to be just right then.”

“Gee! They are too. Thanks a lot. You must be a dental mechanic, are you?”

No, never, I'm an undertaker.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Quoted from Einstein

We need to be realistic. There is very little we can do now to stop the ice from disappearing from the North Pole in the summer. And we probably cannot prevent the melting of the permafrost and the resulting release of methane. In addition, I fear that we may be too late to help the oceans maintain their ability to absorb carbon dioxide.

Quoted from Prince Charles

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7th November. 2020 - The Disappointed Scot Click here to get a biscuit.

A happy death

An elderly Scot lay dying in his bed.

While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite biscuits wafting from the kitchen. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.

Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, he struggled down the corridor.

With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen were dozens of his favourite biscuits, freshly baked.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Scottish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he leans towards the table, landing on his knees in crumpled posture. His aged and withered hand trembled towards a biscuit at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked by his wife with a spatula.

“Awa' wi' ye!” yells the wife, They're for the funeral!

God is subtle but he is not malicious.

Quoted from Einstein

For conservation to be successful it is necessary to take into consideration that it is a characteristic of man that he can only be relied upon to do anything consistently which is in his own interest. He may have occasional fits of conscience and moral rectitude but otherwise his actions are governed by self-interest. It follows then that whatever the moral reasons for conservation, it will only be achieved by the inducement of profit or pleasure.

Quoted from Prince Phillip

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6th November. 2020 - The Dancing duck Click here to ensure quiet.

The Dancing Duck

A gentleman of the road enters a public house and approaches the landlord to ask “Please may I entertain your patrons for the price of my beer?”

The landlord, on a whim, agrees.

The gentleman produces first a biscuit tin then a caged duck from under his coat, he puts the tin upon the bar, and the cage on the tin.

Immediately the duck begins to tap dance, filling the pub with the sound of the rhythmic slapping of its webbed feet.

The patrons are delighted and gather round to watch and laugh. Some call their friends, and before long the pub is heaving with customers.

The landlord is impressed, especially with his takings, so decides to buy the duck.

Surprisingly, the gentleman agrees readily, and sells the bird (and tin) for 250 dollars.

Later that night, the landlord is regretting his purchase, because the duck is still noisily dancing at 4am. Afraid he may never sleep again, the landlord sallys forth to find the gentleman.

Eventually they meet and the landlord begs,  “Please tell me how to stop the damned duck from dancing

“Easy” says the gentleman, Take the lid off the tin, and blow the candles out!

Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.

Quoted from Einstein

As you may possibly have noticed from time to time, I have tended to make a habit of sticking my head above the parapet and generally getting it shot off for pointing out what has always been blindingly obvious to me.

Quoted from Prince Charles

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5th November. 2020 - Science & the world Click here to reflect.

Openheimer on Science and the world

I mentioned that I had a speech by Openheimer. Like many of the others, it's long. And, it requires more concentration to read, but worth the effort.

This was Openheimer's farewell speech to the Association of Los Alamos Scientists on Nov 2 1945. And, believe it or not, these are only excerpts.

Click on the headers to show and hide the text items

Aspects of science are beyond common sense.

I think there are issues which are quite simple and quite deep, and which involve us as a group of scientists—involve us more, perhaps than any other group in the world, I think that it can only help to look a little at what our situation is—at what has happened to us—and that this must give us some honesty, some insight, which will be a source of strength in what may be the not-too-easy days ahead, I would like to take it as deep and serious as I know how, and then perhaps come to more immediate questions in the course of the discussion later, I want anyone who feels like it to ask me a question and if I can't answer it, as will often be the case, I will just have to say so.

What has happened to us—it is really rather major, it is so major that I think in some ways one returns to the greatest developments of the twentieth century, to the discovery of relativity, and to the whole development of atomic theory and its interpretation in terms of complementarity, for analogy, These things, as you know, forced us to re-consider the relations between science and common sense, They forced on us the recognition that the fact that we were in the habit of talking a certain language and using certain concepts did not necessarily imply that there was anything in the real world to correspond to these, They forced us to be prepared for the inadequacy of the ways in which human beings attempted to deal with reality, for that reality, In some ways I think these virtues, which scientists quite reluctantly were forced to learn by the nature of the world they were studying, may be useful even today in preparing us for somewhat more radical views of what the issues are than would be natural or easy for people who had not been through this experience.

Problems with speed of scientific development

I think that it hardly needs to be said why the impact is so strong, There are three reasons: one is the extraordinary speed with which things which were right on the frontier of science were translated into terms where they affected many living people, and potentially all people, Another is the fact, quite accidental in many ways, and connected with the speed, that scientists themselves played such a large part, not merely in providing the foundation for atomic weapons, but in actually making them, In this we are certainly closer to it than any other group, The third is that the thing we made—partly because of the technical nature of the problem, partly because we worked hard, partly because we had good breaks—really arrived in the world with such a shattering reality and suddenness that there was no opportunity for the edges to be worn off.

Motivation

In considering what the situation of science is, it may be helpful to think a little of what people said and felt of their motives in coming into this job, One always has to worry that what people say of their motives is not adequate, Many people said different things, and most of them, I think, had some validity, There was in the first place the great concern that our enemy might develop these weapons before we did, and the feeling—at least, in the early days, the very strong feeling—that without atomic weapons it might be very difficult, it might be an impossible, it might be an incredibly long thing to win the war, These things wore off a little as it became clear that the war would be won in any case, Some people, I think, were motivated by curiosity, and rightly so; and some by a sense of adventure, and rightly so, Others had more political arguments and said, “Well, we know that atomic weapons are in principle possible, and it is not right that the threat of their unrealized possibility should hang over the world, It is right that the world should know what can be done in their field and deal with it.” And the people added to that that it was a time when all over the world men would be particularly ripe and open for dealing with this problem because of the immediacy of the evils of war, because of the universal cry from everyone that one could not go through this thing again, even a war without atomic bombs, And there was finally, and I think rightly, the feeling that there was probably no place in the world where the development of atomic weapons would have a better chance of leading to a reasonable solution, and a smaller chance of leading to disaster, than within the United States, I believe all these things that people said are true, and I think I said them all myself at one time or another.

Project Manhattan was unavoidable

But when you come right down to it the reason that we did this job is because it was an organic necessity, If you are a scientist you cannot stop such a thing, If you are a scientist you believe that it is good to find out how the world works; that it is good to find out what the realities are; that it is good to turn over to mankind at large the greatest possible power to control the world and to deal with it according to its lights and its values.  There has been a lot of talk about the evil of secrecy, of concealment, of control, of security, Some of that talk has been on a rather low plane, limited really to saying that it is difficult or inconvenient to work in a world where you are not free to do what you want, I think that the talk has been justified, and that the almost unanimous resistance of scientists to the imposition of control and secrecy is a justified position, but I think that the reason for it may lie a little deeper,

Science and secrecy

I think that it comes from the fact that secrecy strikes at the very root of what science is, and what it is for, It is not possible to be a scientist unless you believe that it is good to learn, It is not good to be a scientist, and it is not possible, unless you think that it is of the highest value to share your knowledge, to share it with anyone who is interested, It is not possible to be a scientist unless you believe that the knowledge of the world, and the power which this gives, is a thing which is of intrinsic value to humanity, and that you are using it to help in the spread of knowledge, and are willing to take the consequences, And, therefore, I think that this resistance which we feel and see all around us to anything which is an attempt to treat science of the future as though it were rather a dangerous thing, a thing that must be watched and managed, is resisted not because of its inconvenience—I think we are in a position where we must be willing to take any inconvenience—but resisted because it is based on a philosophy incompatible with that by which we live, and have learned to live in the past.

Danger of atomic weapons

There are many people who try to wiggle out of this, They say the real importance of atomic energy does not lie in the weapons that have been made; the real importance lies in all the great benefits which atomic energy, which the various radiations, will bring to mankind, There may be some truth in this, I am sure that there is truth in it, because there has never in the past been a new field opened up where the real fruits of it have not been invisible at the beginning, I have a very high confidence that the fruits—the so-called peacetime applications—of atomic energy will have in them all that we think, and more, There are others who try to escape the immediacy of this situation by saying that, after all, war has always been very terrible; after all, weapons have always gotten worse and worse; that this is just another weapon and it doesn't create a great change; that they are not so bad; bombings have been bad in this war and this is not a change in that—it just adds a little to the effectiveness of bombing; that some sort of protection will be found, I think that these efforts to diffuse and weaken the nature of the crisis make it only more dangerous, I think it is for us to accept it as a very grave crisis, to realize that these atomic weapons which we have started to make are very terrible, that they involve a change, that they are not just a slight modification: to accept this, and to accept with it the necessity for those transformations in the world which will make it possible to integrate these developments into human life.

Scientists may find it easier

As scientists I think we have perhaps a little greater ability to accept change, and accept radical change, because of our experiences in the pursuit of science, And that may help us—that, and the fact that we have lived with it—to be of some use in understanding these problems.

War has changed

It is clear to me that wars have changed, It is clear to me that if these first bombs —the bomb that was dropped on Nagasaki—that if these can destroy ten square miles, then that is really quite something, It is clear to me that they are going to be very cheap if anyone wants to make them; it is clear to me that this is a situation where a quantitative change, and a change in which the advantage of aggression compared to defense—of attack compared to defense—is shifted, where this quantitative change has all the character of a change in quality, of a change in the nature of the world, I know that whereas wars have become intolerable, and the question would have been raised and would have been pursued after this war, more ardently than after the last, of whether there was not some method by which they could be averted, But I think the advent of the atomic bomb and the facts which will get around that they are not too hard to make—that they will be universal if people wish to make them universal, that they will not constitute a real drain on the economy of any strong nation, and that their power of destruction will grow and is already incomparably greater than that of any other weapon—I think these things create a new situation, so new that there is some danger, even some danger in believing, that what we have is a new argument for arrangements, for hopes, that existed before this development took place.

We must change

By that I mean that much as I like to hear advocates of a world federation, or advocates of a United Nations organization, who have been talking of these things for years—much as I like to hear them say that here is a new argument, I think that they are in part missing the point, because the point is not that atomic weapons constitute a new argument, There have always been good arguments, The point is that atomic weapons constitute also a field, a new field, and a new opportunity for realizing preconditions, I think when people talk of the fact that this is not only a great peril, but a great hope, this is what they should mean, I do not think they should mean the unknown, though sure, value of industrial and scientific virtues of atomic energy, but rather the simple fact that in this field, because it is a threat, because it is a peril, and because it has certain special characteristics, to which I will return, there exists a possibility of realizing, of beginning to realize, those changes which are needed if there is to be any peace.

Everybody is affected

Those are very far-reaching changes, They are changes in the relations between nations, not only in spirit, not only in law, but also in conception and feeling, I don't know which of these is prior; they must all work together, and only the gradual interaction of one on the other can make a reality, I don't agree with those who say the first step is to have a structure of international law, I don't agree with those who say the only thing is to have friendly feelings, All of these things will be involved, I think it is true to say that atomic weapons are a peril which affect everyone in the world, and in that sense a completely common problem, as common a problem as it was for the Allies to defeat the Nazis, I think that in order to handle this common problem there must be a complete sense of community responsibility, I do not think that one may expect that people will contribute to the solution of the problem until they are aware of their ability to take part in the solution, I think that it is a field in which the implementation of such a common responsibility has certain decisive advantages.

Science must contribute

It is a new field, in which the position of vested interests in various parts of the world is very much less serious than in others, It is serious in this country, and that is one of our problems, It is a new field, in which the role of science has been so great that it is to my mind hardly thinkable that the international traditions of science, and the fraternity of scientists, should not play a constructive part, It is a new field, in which just the novelty and the special characteristics of the technical operations should enable one to establish a community of interest which might almost be regarded as a pilot plant for a new type of international collaboration, I speak of it as a pilot plant because it is quite clear that the control of atomic weapons cannot be in itself the unique end of such operation, The only unique end can be a world that is united, and a world in which war will not occur, But those things don't happen overnight, and in this field it would seem that one could get started, and get started without meeting those insuperable obstacles which history has so often placed in the way of any effort of cooperation.

A new international spirit is required

Now, this is not an easy thing, and the point I want to make, the one point I want to hammer home, is what an enormous change in spirit is involved, There are things which we hold very dear, and I think rightly hold very dear; I would say that the word democracy perhaps stood for some of them as well as any other word, There are many parts of the world in which there is no democracy, There are other things which we hold dear, and which we rightly should, And when I speak of a new spirit in international affairs I mean that even to these deepest of things which we cherish, and for which Americans have been willing to die—and certainly most of us would be willing to die—even in these deepest things, we realize that there is something more profound than that; namely, the common bond with other men everywhere, It is only if you do that that this makes sense; because if you approach the problem and say, “We know what is right and we would like to use the atomic bomb to persuade you to agree with us,” then you are in a very weak position and you will not succeed, because under those conditions you will not succeed in delegating responsibility for the survival of men, It is a purely unilateral statement; you will find yourselves attempting by force of arms to prevent a disaster.

Inadequate understanding

As far as I can tell in the world outside there are many people just as quick to see the gravity of the situation, and to understand it in terms not so different from those I have tried to outline, It is not only among scientists that there are wise people and foolish people, I have had occasion in the last few months to meet people who had to do with the Government—the legislative branches, the administrative branches, and even the judicial branches, and I have found many in whom an understanding of what this problem is, and of the general lines along which it can be solved, is very clear, I would especially mention the former Secretary of War, Mr, Stimson, who, perhaps as much as any man, seemed to appreciate how hopeless and how impractical it was to attack this problem on a superficial level, and whose devotion to the development of atomic weapons was in large measure governed by his understanding of the hope that lay in it that there would be a new world, I know this is a surprise, because most people think that the War Department has as its unique function the making of war, The Secretary of War has other functions, I think this is another question of importance: that is, what views will be held on these matters in other countries, I think it is important to realize that even those who are well informed in this country have been slow to understand, slow to believe that the bombs would work, and then slow to understand that their working would present such profound problems.

How long will it take?

As I have said, I had for a long time the feeling of the most extreme urgency, and I think maybe there was something right about that, There was a period immediately after the first use of the bomb when it seemed most natural that a clear statement of policy, and the initial steps of implementing it, should have been made; and it would be wrong for me not to admit that something may have been lost, and that there may be tragedy in that loss, But I think the plain fact is that in the actual world, and with the actual people in it, it has taken time, and it may take longer, to understand what this is all about.

We must cooperate

I think that we have no hope at all if we yield in our belief in the value of science, in the good that it can be to the world to know about reality, about nature, to attain a gradually greater and greater control of nature, to learn, to teach, to understand, I think that if we lose our faith in this we stop being scientists, we sell out our heritage, we lose what we have most of value for this time of crisis. But there is another thing: we are not only scientists; we are men, too, We cannot forget our dependence on our fellow men, I mean not only our material dependence, without which no science would be possible, and without which we could not work; I mean also our deep moral dependence, in that the value of science must lie in the world of men, that all our roots lie there, These are the strongest bonds in the world, stronger than those even that bind us to one another, these are the deepest bonds—that bind us to our fellow men.

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Aspects of science are beyond common sense.

I think there are issues which are quite simple and quite deep, and which involve us as a group of scientists—involve us more, perhaps than any other group in the world, I think that it can only help to look a little at what our situation is—at what has happened to us—and that this must give us some honesty, some insight, which will be a source of strength in what may be the not-too-easy days ahead, I would like to take it as deep and serious as I know how, and then perhaps come to more immediate questions in the course of the discussion later, I want anyone who feels like it to ask me a question and if I can't answer it, as will often be the case, I will just have to say so.

What has happened to us—it is really rather major, it is so major that I think in some ways one returns to the greatest developments of the twentieth century, to the discovery of relativity, and to the whole development of atomic theory and its interpretation in terms of complementarity, for analogy, These things, as you know, forced us to re-consider the relations between science and common sense, They forced on us the recognition that the fact that we were in the habit of talking a certain language and using certain concepts did not necessarily imply that there was anything in the real world to correspond to these, They forced us to be prepared for the inadequacy of the ways in which human beings attempted to deal with reality, for that reality, In some ways I think these virtues, which scientists quite reluctantly were forced to learn by the nature of the world they were studying, may be useful even today in preparing us for somewhat more radical views of what the issues are than would be natural or easy for people who had not been through this experience.

The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind, If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.

Quoted from Einstein

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today, I can choose which it shall be, Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet, I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Quoted from Groucho Marx

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4th November. 2020 - Confession Click here to skoll the lemon juice.

Reponses to confession

Two aspects of confession.

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

The priest said, “Confess your sins and be forgiven.”

The young woman said, “Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times.”

The priest thought long and hard and then said,“Squeeze seven lemons into a jug and then drink the juice.”

The young woman asked, “Will this cleanse me of my sins?”

The priest said, No, but it will wipe that smirk off of your face.


A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest,“I almost had an affair with another woman.”

The priest said,“What do you mean, almost?”

The Irishman said,“Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.”

The priest said,“Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box”

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.  He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying,“'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!”

The Irishman replied, “Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you,
that's the same as putting it in!

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

Quoted from Einstein

It's not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course - you just follow the wounded..

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

Quoted from Bob Hope

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3rd November. 2020 - The Aussie dunny Click here to re-order the toilet paper.

The Aussie dunny

It's been a while since we had a poem - here's an anonymous one.

There was one like this on the farm where my father grew up.

They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life,
If you couldn't sprint the distance, then you really were in strife.
They were nailed, they were wired, but were mostly falling down,
There was one in every yard, in every house, in every town.

They were given many names, some were even funny,
But to most of us, we knew them as the outhouse or the dunny.
I've seen some of them all gussied up, with painted doors and all,
But it really made no difference, they were just a port of call.

Now my old man would take a bet, he'd lay an even pound,
That you wouldn't make the dunny with them turkeys hangin' round.
They had so many uses, these buildings out the back,
You could even hide from mother, so you wouldn't get the strap.

That's why we had good cricketers, never mind the bumps,
We used the pathway for the wicket and the dunny door for stumps.
Now my old man would sit for hours, the smell would rot your socks,
He read the daily back to front, in that good old thunderbox.

And if by chance that nature called sometime through the night,
You always sent the dog in first, for there was no flamin' light.
And the dunny seemed to be the place where crawlies liked to hide,
But never ever showed themselves until you sat inside.

There was no such thing as Sorbent, no tissues there at all,
Just squares of well read newspaper, a hangin' on the wall.
If you had some friendly neighbours, as neighbours sometimes are,
You could sit and chat to them, if you left the door ajar.

When suddenly you got the urge, and down the track you fled,
Then of course the magpies were there to peck you on your head.
Then the time there was a wet, the rain it never stopped,
If you had an urgent call, you ran between the drops.

The dunny man came once a week, to these buildings out the back,
And he would leave an extra can, if you left for him a zac.
For those of you who've no idea what I mean by a zac,
Then your too young to have ever had, a dunny out the back.

For it seems today they call them the bathroom, or the loo,
If you've never had one out the back, then I feel sorry for you.
For it used to be a way of life, to race along the track,
To answer natures call, at these buildings out the back.

The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking.

Quoted from Einstein

After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse..

Quoted from W C Fields

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2nd November 2020 - Driving in Columbia Click here to recover from vertigo.

Road engineering at it's finest ??

Rod Goode sent me some photos of the Trampolin de la Muerte Road through the Andes in Columbia. Rod and I have been used to scaring each other in the rallying world, but we're quite content to avoid an event on this road!

Located in the south of Colombia, the road between Mocoa and San Francisco is one of the most dangerous roads in the world. It was built in 1929/30 to enable troop transport to fight a war against Peru.

The road is 69.7km long, going through the Valley of Sibundoy. It’s known as Trampolín del Diablo (Devil’s trampoline), Adiós mi vida (Bye bye my life) or Trampolín de la Muerte (Death’s trampoline).

So far it has been directly responsible for ending hundreds of lives. Different sources record more than 500 people dead in 2011 and in 1989 about 300 people died in a terrible collapse. Looking for clearer information on the number of deaths indicated the road is a popular routes for cyclists!

The road can be seen as a slideshow here. It's a bit hard to see with the default colour scheme, but click on the barely visible arrows in the middle left or right sides to change slide. Use the browser back arrow to return here.


1st November. 2020 - Some snippet samples Click here to adjust the smile.

More snippets

As consumers of these 'Keep in Touch' pages will know a few weeks ago I started adding snippets from Einstein, Prince Phillip and Prince Charles at the bottom of each page. Now I've decided to source some new authors for my snippets and here's a sample of their work.

I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

Quoted from Groucho Marx

I drink therefore I am.

Quoted from W C Fields

We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

Quoted from Bob Hope

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Quoted from Groucho Marx

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Quoted from W C Fields

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

Quoted from Bob Hope

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Quoted from Einstein

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

Quoted from Prince Phillip

I sometimes wonder if two thirds of the globe is covered in red carpet.

Quoted from Prince Charles

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