For instance, there´s a famous sign at an old scottish golf club which says "Members must refrain from picking up lost balls until they have stopped rolling!"

A Scotsman, Englishman, Irishman and Welshman are soldiers together at war in a far-flung country a long way from home. Lo and behold they are all captured together and are then informed by their captors that each one of them will be put in front of a firing squad and shot. However they are each to be granted one last wish.
The Englishman was first to speak, "I would like to hear God Save the Queen sung by the London All Boys Choir, with Morris Dancers parading around to the music, just to remind me of the old country".
The Irishman says, "I would like to hear Danny Boy sung in the manner of Daniel O'Donnell with the Irish dancing group Riverdance, skipping gaily to the music as I dream about the old country".
The Welshman says, "I would like to hear Men of Harlech sung by the Treorchy Welsh Male Choir as I think about the Welsh Hills one more time".  On hearing all this from his colleagues, the Scotsman simply said "I'd like to be shot first".

Scotland is often visited by many Americans, some of whom like to play golf. One such American was on the 1st tee at Old Prestwick (home of the original British Open - true) and was advised by his caddie to take a medium iron to ensure he stayed on the fairway.
Ignoring this advice, the American takes out his driver, hits a huge drive which develops a big slice and finishes up 'out-of-bounds'. The American asks for another ball and proceeds to hit it safely down the fairway. The American says, "back home in the States we call that a "mulligan"  to which the caddie replies "We call that 3 off the tee, Sir".

Aye we're a bad lot!!

First up I'd like to begin by giving a very special welcome to our life members:

• Lance Bolam and his wife Edith;
• Ray Underwood and his wife Rhonda;
• Bernie Coyle and his wife Anne;
• David Vine.

Unfortunately another life member, Hughie Churchward and his wife Isobel are unable to be here today. Our best wishes go to both of them.

Another special welcome goes to our sponsor, Innis Ireland from House of Golf Mentone. Innis has been a loyal supporter of the Vets with contributions to our monthly prizes. Thank you Innis.

Welcome to our committee members.

Just before I do that, I´d like to mention that unfortunately Jeff Taylor our club secretary, cannot be here today as he is recovering from a major operation. Latest news is that Jeff continues with his recovery.
Jeff did a lot of the initial work to get this luncheon up and running along with Laurie Comerford who is here today. Laurie has also done a power of work to make today a success.

Now this has been another successful year at the Vets with increased membership and increased participation on the golf course. A big part of that is down to the excellent work being done by your committee: Harold Hayes / Jeff Stevens / David Vine / Ray Desmond / Daryl Edwards / Laurie Comerford & Roger Selwood.
Many thanks to all of you for your hard work in what has been a busy and successful year.

Just like to say a big welcome back to Barry Taylor who has had a rough trot lately. Good to see you baz! Also to Gerry O´Connor. A tough time Gerry, good to see you.

Our thanks go to Patterson River Golf Club for looking after us so well. To Lynn and her colleagues. Our sincere thanks for this lovely setting.

You do know that golf is a game invented by God to punish those that retire too early!!

Later on we will hear a bit about the history of this great club from our Captain, Harold Hayes as we celebrate our 70th anniversary in 2019.
As usual we will have the raffle and distribute the ladies gifts in between the main course and dessert.
After dessert we will be presenting this years prizes to our 2018 winners including our club champion.

Lunch will now be served, so enjoy the meal, a drink and the camaraderie of those around you. Most of all "make sure that you have lots of fun"